How to Save Your Marriage On Your Own?

One of the most common questions we encounter at savemymarriagetoday.com is this: how could one partner save their floundering marriage on their own? It is a typical enough story – one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage… ALONE.

In some of our minds, it stands to argue that since there are two people in this marriage, shouldn’t both of us be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, it’s his, her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? I am just the victim here, after all!

We are telling you right now – if you want to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, the above will definitely not help you do it -- that type of talk is at the minimum, negative and at most, self-defeating! It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should just let it go down the drain. So not true. There is still something you CAN DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How? Let’s begin first by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. After all, it’s part of our make up to be social creatures. In fact, babies develop very early on feelings of trust, companionship and parental support. If they don’t get these, say when they’re hungry we fail to feed them on time, or if they’re wet, we fail to change their diaper, humans develop fears of mistrust, abandonment and solitude. Unfortunately, we carry these fears with us as we get older.

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships; whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with the hope, plan and dream that we would never be alone. We invest so much on our partner, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and secure. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison. It’s as if we have blinders on all the time. When our partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship, we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.

In order to save your marriage on your own, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner - stop the blaming, stop the inaction. Take a good look at yourself. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions but you can control your own.  You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness. This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, difficult person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication. From hereon, dealing with your straying partner could even get easier – for you and for them. For all you know, you may just surprise each other.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these:

• Breathe
• Smile
• Let go
• Believe that reconnection is possible
• See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
• Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
• Forgive yourself
• Change
• Look after your health, beauty and well-being

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking positive steps to work them through.

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue loving your partner and showing him or her that you do. Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you, they will.

You can't afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST, PROVEN METHODS and information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results... guaranteed.

You have to go to http://bit.ly/ways-to-save-a-marriage and get this life-changing course.

Because your marriage deserves better!

How to Save Your Marriage When Your Partner Mentions Divorce

There are numerous reasons why a once committed relationship would degenerate to one partner asking for a divorce. It could have been:

•  an affair
•  having been separated by a long distance for lengths of time
•  conflict
•  behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse
•  even unmanaged addictions.

Whatever of these problems may be what is seen on the surface, the bottom line is that usually, barring any abuse or psychological problems that are best handled by a professional, a couple find themselves in danger of divorce when there is a loss of:

• communication,
• love
• and intimacy
• in the marital relationship.

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person’s feelings or decisions? While we cannot, MUST NOT and IN NO WAY manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and pro actively.

Here’s the thing. You can choose to wallow in pain and anger or you can choose to become even more positive and loving towards your spouse. You can choose to blame and shame your partner or you can choose to take stock, be accountable for where your marriage is and move on towards a more fulfilling, happy you. Yes, you heard me. You can choose to be fulfilled and happy in the midst of crisis.

Even if your spouse is stubborn and unresponsive, you can still change yourself and become as engaging, positive and proactive as you were when you first fell in love. Usually, at the struggling stage of a relationship, one or both couples would look back and miss the good old days where it was easy to be together. You can capture those days again – and even add to them with your own current maturity and growth. After all, you did not spend those years after the wedding for nothing. You and your spouse have made a huge investment into this partnership and your intention to stay in the marriage through positive loving actions, through open communication and strengthened commitment can help your spouse refocus his view on what you once committed to.

Become a loving person again by caring for your spouse in the little everyday things. Be there for him or her when before you may have been too much of a workaholic. Set aside intimate time just for your partner alone whereas previously, you may have let the kids take up too much of your time.

Then, when the time comes that you are able to open communication with your spouse and actually sit down and discuss the crisis you’re in –ask him or her if he or she realizes just how much effort a divorce could entail? Does your spouse actually realize that a divorce has emotional, financial, logistical and physical consequences? A divorce brings CHANGE and it is definitely not to be taken lightly. If your spouse wants a divorce, is he or she prepared to embrace this change?

Finally, you also have the option to involve a third party or mediator to help you and your spouse through this situation. If the situation is truly serious then by all means, get help. This is not the time to let your pride get in the way. A professional counselor, trusted elder or neutral friend can help in putting things into perspective between you and your partner and may even help unlock deep seated concerns or issues.  For all you know, it may be as simple as your partner wanting more attention or more ways to open up to you.

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This article is brought to you by Save My Marriage Today.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage recovery! My Save My Marriage Today course has helped save thousands of marriages and is guaranteed to deliver results or your money back.

You can't afford to give your marriage 50%. You need 100% - you need the BEST, PROVEN METHODS and information now! You have to learn what it takes to save your marriage. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results... guaranteed.

You have to go to SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY and get this life-changing course.

Because your marriage deserves better!

Marriage and Family Counseling

Are you feeling happy with your marriage? Or you feel sad about it? Awaked at night wondering if your marriage happy forever? Or your marriage will last? What will you do about it? Do nothing? Run away? Or you start thinking about what would happen next? Remember, you are not alone. Out there, also have other couples maybe thinking just like you. What you have to do is find someone to share you feeling or someone who can give you the answer.

This is where Amy Waterman standing for. In her book, Save My Marriage Today, you can learn simple, easy strategies to solve almost any marital conflict! No matter what situation you marriages is in, this information applies to you, if you’re willing to give these methods a chance, you’ll be amazed at where you marriage is in a relatively short time from now.

What are you going to learn:

- Discover one of the most destructive things in a marriage crisis that you’re probably doing.

- How to get your spouse to change their attitude.

- Find out how to get your spouse to fall back in love with you.

- Discover the real reason why a lot of marriages fail.

- A simple but powerful psychological trick that will help you to put your mind in a place of happiness and relaxation.

- How to prepare yourself for the worst so that you are fine—no matter what.

- and so many more therapy you need to know about in this e-book.

The marriage and family counseling can give you the chance to get out of the vicious cycle of reacting to problems, conflicts and situations, and move towards acting proactively. Before you actually get to the main point, you are given for free, 6-days mini e-course that explains 6 reasons of common divorce and how to avoid them. This e-course can be considered as an eye opener to your problem, before you try to fix it.

You can take a look at this website HERE. In addition, a bonus section of emails consultations for you to read. These emails are much more like yours too and it is necessary if you know what strategies to resolve the marital problems.

There are of course, secrets to loving and fulfilling relationships and anger management section to cool down your emotion when things get screwed up. If you think, you need to repair your relationship after an affair; the book can be your marriage counselor that helps you keep your marriage and make it even stronger. Moreover, when you already have children, parenting can be difficult in the situation. In this book, Amy tells you about danger zones that may affect your children growth and ruin your marriage. Purchasing this great book means getting a lot of goodness in return since the author give away all of the tips in forms of books. Not only email consultation, you will receive 'Stress: The Silent Killer - A Comprehensive Guide To Wellness and Inner Peace' that teaches you to understand your stress and how it affects your health condition. Another book is 'Seven Ways to Live Life to the Max' that helps you to find your source to creativity and happiness.

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